Social Networking Etiquette: A List
1. Think About What You Say Online—Everyone sees what you put on Facebook
a. And I’m not talking about your drunken photos from the frat party last weekend (though as a general rule, you probably shouldn’t post your weed pipes and drunken sluttiness). What I mean is, be careful who you’re talking about and how explicit you are when doing so. Just because you post some comment about Betty on Sandy’s wall doesn’t mean no one else will see it. The Facebook Stalker News Feed will ensure that not only your intended recipient sees it, but at least 44% of your mutual friends will as well. And that’s not including the people that visit Sandy’s page to stalk write on her wall. Talking shit online is not classy, and remember, folks, the goal here is to (say it with me now…) keep it classy. Now, if you absolutely must say something, and you can’t refrain from doing so, it is best to be as vague as possible while still getting your point across. Creating nicknames and inside jokes is the best move you can make here, that way you can say whatever you need to get off your chest and no one is the wiser as to who you’re talking about.
b. Second thing… Your status (and Twitter) is not your diary. No one wants to read your emo tweets 19 times a day about how no one understands you and the world is full of shallow emptiness. Write a sad poem about it in your journal and move on: side bangs and the “woe is me” attitude belong in grade ten and your old Xanga account.
c. Don’t expect your privacy to be respected online. Anything you say and any picture you appear in can and will be used against you. Your statuses, wall posts, tweets, profile pictures and groups you join will be open forum for discussion, gossip, and judgment from your peers. If I already don’t like you, anything you post is fair game for scrutiny and provides me with further reason to judge you.
2. Pictures of You and Your Boyfriend Are Only Cute the First 6 Times. Max.
a. Seriously.
b. No, really. Entire photo albums dedicated to your domestic bliss are gag-worthy and unnecessary. It looks like you’re fishing for “OMG you guys are SO CUTE together!!” comments. And the rest of us will roll our eyes and say “Wow, really?”
3. No one (no one!) Cares About Every Move You Make During the Day.
a. Now I’m aware that the purpose of statuses and tweeting is to let people know what you’re up to, but come on. Save the updates for noteworthy events. Over-tweeting is never okay, and blowing up people’s News Feeds and Twitter Timelines is annoying to the max.
4. Not to Sound Like a Broken Record… But Please Check for Grammar.
a. There’s a Facebook group called “I Judge You When You Use Poor Grammar.” And it’s true. It’s not cute, it’s lazy. Yes, I know I’ve ranted about this subject before, but it’s one of my favorites to cover because I’m a little fascinated with this ‘phenomenon’ since I’m an English major and I find a weird kind of beauty in words and writing…. But I digress. Typos happen to all of us, but let’s not make the same mistakes over and over again, okay? It makes things hard to read and consequently makes me care less about what you have to say.
5. Begging Via the Internet Isn’t Alright More Than a Few Times
a. Sometimes situations are dire and you need a favor, and sometimes your closest friends simply aren’t able to help you. In these cases it is acceptable to ask for favors via your status or Twitter. However, do not, I repeat, do not take advantage of people’s generosity. It gets really old, really quickly, and makes you seem needy and also like you have no friends of your own. It also comes off as a cry for attention, which some people who are nicer than myself will respond to and try to help. As for the rest of us cynical, judgmental people, we will sit back and laugh at your ridiculousness.
Keeping these things in mind while you (along with nearly every other college and high school student in the country) spend hours a day on Facebook or Twitter (or even MySpace, if you’re still into that). Remember that the internet is public domain, and anything you do online creates a reputation for yourself and snapshot look at your life. What you post online determines how people see you. You could be a pretty cool person who happens to, say, tweet every 45 minutes about the inane occurrences of your day. That’s your prerogative if you absolutely want the world to know where you are and what you’re doing at all times; but know that for people our age, perception is reality. So if your Facebook makes you seem lame… you probably are.
Until next time!
—xoxo, M
How to keep it Classy: Listen to your friends.
How many times have you gotten in trouble by not listening? Too many to count right?, I bet you can’t even remember the last time you really listened to parents or any authority figure. I know exactly why you haven’t listened to them; it’s because they suck and everything they say sucks. However, there is one set of people that you should listen to: your friends. I know you’re thinking, “No stupid, they are as dumb as I am!” But hear me out. There is a reason why your friends give you advice; it is because they can see you and your actions from an outside perspective. When a friend tells you not to wear that outfit, it’s because you look horrible! The funny thing is that you know you look horrible, you just don’t want to face the music. Friends will tell you exactly what you keep pushing to the back of your mind! This is the same in every situation. For example, when they tell you not to date that girl/guy it’s because they know they are wrong for you, and their judgment on them isn’t clouded by infatuation with that person. Your judgment is clouded, but deep down you know they are a fool just like your friends said.
However, you should only listen to rational advice. I know that sometimes we get a little crazy and your friends might advise you to go streaking through the Quad. I don’t want you out there streaking, getting arrested by University Police and then saying that your friend told you to do it and a blog you read told you to listen to your friends; you’ll look and sound stupid while dragging my name through the dirt. Don’t bring me down with you man, it’s not cool. Anyways, what I’m trying to say is use your head (if you are a guy, I’m talking about your big head, not the other one you tend to use for decisions) when it comes to listening to advice. For the most part, your friends know what they are talking about because they have your best interests in mind. So stop daydreaming when people talk and listen up!
Keep it classy,
V
P.S.
Above is New Found Glory’s “Listen to Your Friends”, they know what’s up, so take a look. Enjoy :)
Child stars always feel pressure to “grow up” fast.
But the truth is…
They can’t wait to wear skimpy clothes. We’ve seen this movie a hundred times. As soon as a girl from Disney turns 17, her favorite outfit becomes her underwear. Then, she plays it off like nothing has changed.
Photo by: http://www.flickr.com/photos/edwardandtwilightandfredlover/4731601485/
Don’t hate, just learn to accept.
Like every other person in my generation I am obsessed with staying connected with friends, family, and random celebrities. I feed my obsession with having a Tumblr, Facebook, and of course a Twitter. However, having them simply isn’t enough, so of course I get certain people’s updates sent to my phone because again, my generation and I are borderline stalkers.
Anyways, recently I reconnected with an old friend. He and I grew up together but then after a certain age we grew apart and I recently found him by facebook creeping. So after I found him he immediately added me and we started chatting again, he gave me his Twitter link and I started following him on Twitter.
Big mistake. He updates his twitter more than anyone I know, probably more than all the people I follow put together. At first his over-tweeting didn’t bother me that much because I was happy to have him back in my life, plus at times he said some really clever things. But the tweets got worse and the tweet that finally pushed me to have his tweets not sent to my phone was this:
“I HATE COLLEGE!!”
No you do not hate college! You want to know why he doesn’t hate college? Well there are two reasons why. One, no one hates college; it’s a wonderful experience that stretches out for four years before you enter hell…I mean the real world. Secondly and most important, he doesn’t go to college!
Yes you read that right, he doesn’t go to college! Maybe I missed something. Did going to a two-year technical school for medical assistants become college? Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that going to a technical school is a bad thing, everyone chooses their own career path, but a technical school is not college, it’s a school! It is clearly stated in the name, technical school, which means it is simply a school not a college or university.
You cannot hate something that you don’t know! You don’t go to college, therefore you cannot hate it. Accept the fact that you attend a school because all of us college kids know that you cannot hate college. Yes, we might hate the work, but that’s why we always put it off to the last minute and hang out with friends instead; it’s the college way. College is way too much fun to hate. It is a place to make lifelong friends and amazing memories that you’ll keep with you for the rest of your life.
So please people, learn to accept and don’t hate on what you don’t know. Hate is something that tears apart institutions, and those of us in college would appreciate it if you would leave our universities out of this.
Thanks in advance!
-V
Remember the magic words: Please; thank you; and step off, Bitch.
—xoxo, M
Keep it classy by: making a plan.
Make plans, just make plans for everything. Need a new boyfriend? Make a plan. Want to get out of work? Make a plan. Need to write a paper? Make a plan. You might think that it is a lot of planning, and well, you’re right. It is a lot of planning but trust me, in the end it will be totally worth it. For example, you’re at a party having an awesome time with friends and the cops show up and you didn’t make an escape plan. Well guess what? You should have made a plan because now you’re screwed and I’m still right. So stop being lazy and make the plan! It’s not too hard to make a simple plan but I get it, us college students are lazy and are huge procrastinators. The good thing about planning though is that you look like you know what you’re doing, when in reality you probably don’t. So here are five easy tips that will help you plan and look well put together.
1. Plan in your head. Everyone is going “Green” so you should too, plus this way no one stubbles across your plan to “get some tonight.”
2. Keep it simple. The simpler the plan the more likely you’ll remember it, because we all know that unless it is movie quotes or lyrics we cannot memorize it.
3. Group Planning. Make sure everyone in your group knows the plan because even though they make great stories there are only so many times you can screw over that one friend.
4. Have a back-up plan. You will need one of these because let’s face it; someone or something always ruins your fun.
5. Be quick! Shit happens and sometimes you have to throw the plan out the window. So know when to stick with the plan and know when to wing it.
So kids if you keep to these five simple tips you’ll be a success! Don’t stress over details and go with the flow, these plans are like a general outline for your life. Have fun!
Keep it real,
-V
In Which I Decry the Rampant Use of Grammatical Errors in Everyday Life
So as I’m sure we’ve all seen, around this time of year is graduation season. I’ve already attended my college’s graduation ceremony so I could see off some of my good friends as they embark into the world of higher education and gainful employment.
And let’s not forget high school. It’s easy to overlook high school graduations once you’ve crossed that stage yourself…but coming from a huge extended family, just about every year I get invited to someone’s college or high school graduation.
A cousin of mine who for her protection will remain nameless sent my parents and I her graduation party invitation, which she printed herself. Normally I’m all for self-made invites because hey, why buy when you can do it yourself? Her card however, included the huge bold headline
YOUR INVITED!
YOUR Invited.
Your.
Really?
Here’s a tip for you: No one will take you seriously if you mistake ‘you’re’ and ‘your’. If you can’t grasp the difference between them, just give up now, because you fail. At life.
I know what you’re thinking (you’re!). Chill out, woman. It’s just a simple grammar mistake. And you’d be right. It is just a simple mistake. But I’m a little bit of a snob about things like that, mostly because I’m easily irritated and have little patience for stupid people. Seriously? How hard is it to understand the difference between “You’re invited to my graduation” and “Your dog shit on the carpet today”?
I find it fascinating how little details like this manage to escape people’s attention. It seems like such an easy concept to grasp (so easy, in fact, that we are generally taught this piece of information by around age 7) and yet everywhere you look today you see things like “Your invited” and “There party was awesome!”
A lot of it, admittedly, has to do with laziness and not necessarily direct stupidity, and I can almost get behind the argument for the Internet being an informal form of communication and therefore not as rigidly subject to the rules of formal written communication…. Especially because of my tendency to rant in run-on sentences. Almost. I mean I’m not gonna lie and say that my Facebook chat conversations carry the same caliber of writing as an essay I’d turn in for a grade… But that doesn’t mean I just purposely misspell things. I think that’s stupid.
To wrap this up… Be smart. Listen to your tenth grade English teacher. Pay attention to details, because people will judge you. Including me.
—-xoxo, M
